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[09 Aug 2010|07:27pm] |
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE CANCELING DORA THE EXPLORER. How will the children learn to speak Spanish? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Wtf am I supposed to watch when I'm high now? I mean this completely seriously.
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[20 Jul 2010|07:39pm] |
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Impromptu viewing of One Night in Paris to honor our new councilwoman: your thoughts?
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[09 Jul 2010|06:58pm] |
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OH GOD! It's july 9 and we're still celebrating july 4. I know we're all dumb here in America but did we forget how to read calendars? WHATEV, I'm gonna be at that motocross thing because how can i say no to the chance to relive 2005? Oh wait, I WASN'T EVEN ALIVE. Anybody want to blow this thing off and drink alcoholic energy drinks in Central Park with me instead? I'll even get you my employee discount at ~american apparel~
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[15 Jun 2010|09:25pm] |
OMG. OMG. I have the best idea in the world. No, seriously. I've spent the last two weeks playing the role of "bored, disaffected college student" and it isn't as fun as the movies make it seem (BUT WHAT IS, NANCY? WHAT IS?). But my hair is really, really nice right now. THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT, THOUGH.
What am I trying to say? I'm trying to say that I've got ~ideas~, baby, and I've got 'em in spades. Apart from whatever joint film projects I'm going to be dabbling in this summer (here's lookin' at you, Malcolm), I think I'll undertake a little operation of my own: THE DOCUMENTARY. Now, I haven't really tackled the genre before but more and more it becomes clear that it's something I could really sink my teeth into. Who am I if not a man in constant search for the truth? If you've always wanted to have a documentary made about you, step right up, come one come all: find yourself particularly interesting? Or are you just so boring that the ordinary struggles of your everyday life could be used as a mirror for the world at large? I'M OPEN TO ANYTHING.
(side note, a little tech question: anybody out there have any experience running a fansite? i hypothetically need some advice for a friend-of-a-friend.)
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| blog post; NINE |
[24 May 2010|06:09pm] |
My obsession with Bobby Rattinson continues. FIRST he decides to sign on to that sell out piece of trash Revenant, which I could forgive him for because HI REVENANT = BIG $, so you know what Bobby? I understand. and THEN the tabloids out him for being the FAB DUDE that we all knew he was anyway, which is like, all right, I get that too, teenage girls everywhere are going to be in denial of his sexuality even if he comes out with a 3D film of him doing some dude up the butt, SO WHATEVER BOBBY R, I GET IT, I GET IT.
But now HE HAS HIS OWN FONT? What the hell! I WANT MY OWN FONT. Life isn't fair. Bobby Rattinson gets his own font and I'm still cleaning up the apartment after that Trash Humpers party. THAT KID CAN'T EVEN ACT.
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| blog post; EIGHT |
[19 May 2010|08:53pm] |
SOOOOOOOOOOOO. The trash humpers party was a total success
OH WAIT, NO IT WASN'T. OK MR POLICE OFFICER, WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING DRUNK AND WEARING A TRASHBAG AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH ROBOTS. YOU TRY IT!!!!
ok i'm not mad about it anymore. oh wait, yes i am.
p.s. i have to get a job this summer lol? i thought it was a joke but apparently not? BUT LOL SERIOUSLY WHO IS GOING TO HIRE ME? I'M TOO MUCH TO BE TIED DOWN
(but now srsly any job leads? anyone? helloooooooooo?)
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| blog post~~~!!!! |
[11 May 2010|05:34pm] |
OMG I CAN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT CANNES RIGHT NOW TRASH HUMPERS
I'm about to be so real right fucking now. I hate to be one of THOSE GUYS but Trash Humpers lyke t0tally changed my lyfe l0l0l0l0l0lzzzzzz.
No, but seriously. I became a man after I saw that movie for the first time. I'm not even ashamed to admit it.
I'm going to throw this out on the table: PARTY, at MY APARTMENT, we will have TRASH HUMPER-THEMED drinks and I will even provide full scripts so that we can quote along with the movie. JULIET I HOPE YOU'RE OK WITH ME WHORING OUT OUR SWEET DIGZ LIKE THIS
and if you aren't, :(
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| blog post; SEVEN |
[20 Apr 2010|11:19pm] |
have you ever thought about all the fields of delight that were destroyed when the bomb went off because sometimes i have dreams about it
cheese fields, dairy fields, milk fields, green fields, cow fields, they are all gone :( alsooooo people, they are gone too, not as delicious as the fields though. the agriculture!!! think of the agriculture.
think of the bread basket. i want bread and i want cheese and i want to put those two things together. after i do that i want to eat them and i want to think very seriously about my next film endeavor. i think i am going to make a short film all about cheese muenster gruyere brie camembert swiss pepper jack feta parmesan asagio romano herve havarti mozzarella gouda. what do you think of this idea.
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| blog post; SIX |
[06 Apr 2010|08:26pm] |
OKAY I KNOW IT PROBABLY SEEMS LIKE I AM OBSESSED WITH BOBBY RATTINSON.
But let's look at the facts. I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I would say Mr Rattinson had this planned all along.
1: Just last week, Bobby gets Caught In The Act.
2: This week, Revenant's sets are destroyed.
3: ALSO THIS WEEK, some part of Louisiana declared inhabitable! Bets on where the movie industry will move to next if Nawlins isn't allowed to stand? Bets on how many angry phonecalls I'm going to get from Dear Old Dad? BETS ON HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE I STOP WEARING MY MOURNER'S BLACK?
Because seriously, if I don't get to sit in the back of the theater and throw popcorn at all of those weepy tween Revenant fans then I'm going to have to re-evaluate like 85% of my life.
On the plus side, I'm thinking about a documentary on the legion of Revenant fans who frequent this place where I go to buy these cool little fake rhinestones that you can attach to - get this - JUST ABOUT ANYTHING!
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| blog post; FIVE |
[30 Mar 2010|08:54pm] |
BOBBY RATTINSON. If you can read this, I just wanna say --
I ALWAYS KNEW IT.
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| four ~ VLOG POST |
[26 Mar 2010|12:48pm] |
Victor is standing triumphantly against a backdrop of a wall lined with posters - some of them are ancient yellow and peeling with weird psychedelic designs, others posters for obscure indie rock bands which have names like 'The Melting Pot', 'Welcome to Hell', and 'Kerouac's Southern Comfort'. He adjusts the camera slightly to show off his outfit: a pale pink NESCAC Women's Swimming & Diving Championships 2010 t-shirt, overlain with a red-and-white striped silk vest. The vest is decorated with four of these buttons. Atop his greasy brown hair he wears a blue-and-white trucker hat with the words 'I ♥ CHICKEN MCNUGGETS' printed on it, also with a pin.
Hola, ladies and gentlemen! I know what you're thinking - you're thinking 'Wow, where did Victor get all those sweet ass pins?' I wish I could tell you. I mean, I know where I got them, from this lovely young lady who was passing them out, but I was so blazed at the time that I just grabbed like sixty of them and got out of there. El oh el. Am I kidding or am I not kidding?
Victor pauses to wiggle his fingers mysteriously at the camera.
Seriously though, I love being able to Show My Support for America's immigrant population whenever I want to. Because foreign girls are hot, and that's why I've been practicing my espanol. And now, I'm going to play you a song.
Victor goes out of frame for a few seconds and returns with a bass guitar. He sits down and strums the bass line to 'Seven Nation Army,' replacing all of the lyrics with a bizarre and jumbled form of Spanglish.
It's a little rusty, but I call that one un ejército de siete naciónes. ¿Es muy bueno, no? Oh my God, look at the time, I need to run. It's Friday and I haven't started in on the cheap bourbon yet. What am I doing with my life?? Adios, muchachos! The camera shuts off.
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| blog post; THREE |
[24 Mar 2010|04:09pm] |
I LOVE AN IMMIGRANT AND I'M STILL AMERICAN!
vlog coming in t-minus 1 day; gotta show off some kickass threads with my ~new pins~
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| blog post; TWO TWO TWO |
[18 Mar 2010|07:27pm] |
LOL ARRESTED
(and subsequently bailed out but yeah who's the badass now?)
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| blog post: ONE ONE ONE |
[13 Mar 2010|05:25pm] |
ENOUGH ABOUT POLITICS, LET'S GET WASTED!!!
in all seriousness folks it's time to hold hands across america. it's a saturday night and i am trying to get loose and jive with some fine fresh faced motherfuckers! let's "paint the town red" as some folks might say. wear your best party hat.
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